What does loyalty mean to you? Do you have loyalty to one person in a marriage or to both?Would you tell someone you love, their significant other( who you also love) was cheating on them? What if it meant that you would loose one or both of them? What sort of friend puts you in that sort of situation? Sometimes good people do fucked up things.
My husband asked me to not get involved and although I didn’t it hurt so much to not say a word. I’ve lost sleep and have had my fair share of belly aches. I’ve also put myself in their shoes. If my husband was planning on marrying another I would want to know. And I would definetly be hurt by the friends who didn’t tell me. I get that they don’t want to get involved but shit this is a shitty situation for a lot of people. Its hard to not judge and it’s hard to not get upset with them.
All you can do is ask them to come clean with all the parties involved. Demand that they do the right thing. No one wants to have that uncomfortable conversation, no one wants to cry and comfort this head on. But it must be done. Do the right thing for everyone involved.